life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
be right there i have to get my cape
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
