just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
