Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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