I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
