Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
