My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
