If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
