Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
