Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
