So drunk its hurt
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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