somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
