He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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