Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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