Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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