I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
