Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
