it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
