she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
