This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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