Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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