Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
