She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
