Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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