Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
