this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
