I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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