For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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