During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
