girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
