ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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