I should be sponsored by Trojan
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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