somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
