Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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