You made me cry and you don't even care
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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