Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
