she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
