glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
