my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
