He felt like a one man threesome
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
