but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
