so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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