How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
