He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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