Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
