I heard we made out
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
