White coat. Heels.
I puked a lego.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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