hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
