I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
