don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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