I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You made out with two different species that night
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
