He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
A bitchslap is in order.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize