Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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