somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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